Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Skip The New Years Eve Prostitute, WIN A PRIZE

You cannot make up some news...seems that South Korea has a new program out to disuede men and companies from frequenting prostitutes...skip the roll in the hay, WIN A PRIZE! Tickets to a there is and incentive! Does this mean Paris Hilton will find herself all alone for the New Year's toast...SHAME ON ME!

S Koreans offered prizes to shun prostitutes

The South Korean Government is handing out gifts for office workers who promise not to visit brothels this holiday season.

The Ministry of Gender Equality is offering to pay companies whose employees pledge not to buy sex after what are typically alcohol-soaked, year-end parties.

"If you promise yourself to make it a healthy night out at the end of the year and if you recommend this to others, we are giving lots of prizes," the ministry said in an Internet posting.

From Congressman John Hall Blog...Colbert Appearences

This story courtesy of the John Hall Blog...Jon Stewart needs to get his act together, and get John Hall on his Daily Show.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Keeping Track...The Colbert Report

For all those who are tracking important numbers on John Hall...he's appeared on the Colbert Report THREE times since being elected...this last one was a brief little flash of him in the audience while at Harvard. Of course, many of us are still waiting for John Hall's appearance on the Daily Show...sure someone out there has already offered to help John Hall write a book that will soar up the charts, so look for that event to come to a Cable TV near you soon. Sure once Jon sees this MAJOR press coverage that The Colbert Report is getting on this and other blogs, that he'll LEAP at the chance to feature John Hall prominently on The Daily Show, and that is truthiness.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Who Needs A Clue. Perez Hilton or Advertisers?

Good Money Going Down The Drain?
OK, I admit...I knew NOTHING about Perez Hilton until I heard this blogger was being SUED by someone for something...OH, I remember...stealing copious amounts of material from someone else who paid someone else to pester various assorted A list people to death hoping for some scandal big enough to grace the front pages of some GOSSIP RAG. You know the routine, Paris Hilton and Brittany running around Hollywood with no panties will be just fine.

I never gave the issue much thought, choosing instead to turn into the Daily Show, and The Colbert Report on Comedy Central, and maintaining my various assorted politically oriented blogs...until this morning when I was checking on my blog statistics over on Ad Brite...IMAGINE MY SURPRISE when I found out that those who advertise on Washington Scandal have also advertised on Perez Hilton's blog! As we all do, I decided to do some COMPARISONS between Washington Scandal that has a lot of original political commentary, and Perez Hilton's blog.

Daily Traffic

Perez Hilton (some probably phooney, or from friends) 230
Washington Scandal 270

Daily Traffic Winner....WASHINGTON SCANDAL

Unique Visitors (This one is telling...someone is maybe running a scam?)

Perez Hilton 20
Washington Scandal 160

Hmmmm.....any one notice some oddity going on? Perez Hilton has only 20 Unique Visitors on this particular daily shot of statistics, but 230 site visits which translates to 11 page views per visitor! Would not take very many PALS to create and illusion now would it? What if those same visitors are also doing some extra clicking...not saying it is so, but musing outloud here.

Bottom line, Washington Scandal wins the Unique Visitors competition hands down.

Now, things get FUZZY from here on out, which is why maybe advertisers need to take a closer look at Perez Hilton's site.

With only 20 unique visitors a day, this blog has an incredible Alexa rank of 1,133!
Meanwhile, Washington Scandal with 160 unique visitors has an Alexa Rank of only 5,929,231. HELLO, someone needs a V-8! Let's now look at one more thing.

Perez Hilton is commanding $700.00 a week for 20 visitors a DAY! Now advertisers, if you do some basic math, you are paying this person who is being SUED $5.00 a visitor to his blog...unless you are selling doggy bags to Paris Hilton and her friends on a regular basis, that's a very pricy per visitor amount to be shelling out.

Now, the weekly rate for Washington Scandal on the other hand is currently $35.00 with a monthly rate of $150. Now, 160 UNIGUE VISITORS a day for seven days is 1120 UNIGUE VISITORS a week. In short, cost per visitor to advertise on Washington Scandal is around 3.1 CENTS.

The numbers tell the TALE! Think about it you really want to be giving Perez Hilton $5.00 a visitor? Or is this just one of those games the A list folks play? Is it actually Paris and her friends funding this farce of a blog? We will never know, but serious business people should know a joke when they see one.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Chocolate, Health Gift From The God's


With Christmas just TWO DAYS AWAY, the time for making those last minute gift selections is upon those of us who love waiting till the proverbial last minute. This could be a serious problem for some, but not if you have Chocolate Lovers like me on your list! Does not matter what shape, light, dark or white, if it is chocolate, count me in! However, it has to be not just good chocolate, but GREAT own favorites are See's, Ester Prices and of course Godiva...sure there are others, but those are my own current favorites.

Reports show that chocolate is good for...well, JUST ABOUT EVERY THING. Your heart, your mood, even your blood LAST MINUTE SHOPPERS, not to worry. Go to your nearest mall, and find the Godiva Display and load up a box for every one on your list, and two for yourself. As they say, "Chocolate is to DIE FOR", so give the gift everyone loves to consume.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Good News, Bad News...Super POT Found In Mexico

Seems there is a new SUPER POT being grown in Mexico...bigger harvests, herbicides cannot kill it, and it grows year around! Bad news...with Calderon cracking down on drug dealers in the countryside of Mexico, soldiers are burning fields of the stuff...of course, if America would simply legalize pot, the illicit importation of drugs into America (much of which supports terrorism) could be stopped. Another flip side...if America would legalize pot, many of us would simply GROW OUR OWN, which means the dealers are out of business, and corporate America would have a hard time cornering the market, which is probably why it remains illegal.

Hybrid marijuana plant found in Mexico

By MARK STEVENSON, Associated Press Writer 9 minutes ago

LAZARO CARDENAS, Mexico - Soldiers trying to seize control of one Mexico's top drug-producing regions found the countryside teeming with a new hybrid marijuana plant that can be cultivated year-round and cannot be killed with herbicides.

Soldiers fanned out across some of the new fields Tuesday, pulling up plants by the root and burning them, as helicopter gunships clattered overhead to give them cover from a raging drug war in the western state of Michoacan. The plants' roots survive if they are doused with herbicide, said army Gen. Manuel Garcia.

"These plants have been genetically improved," he told a handful of journalists allowed to accompany soldiers on a daylong raid of some 70 marijuana fields. "Before we could cut the plant and destroy it, but this plant will come back to life unless it's taken out by the roots."

The new plants, known as "Colombians," mature in about two months and can be planted at any time of year, meaning authorities will no longer be able to time raids to coincide with twice-yearly harvests.

The hybrid first appeared in Mexico two years ago but has become the plant of choice for drug traffickers Michoacan, a remote mountainous region that lends to itself to drug production.

Yields are so high that traffickers can now produce as much marijuana on a plot the size of a football field as they used to harvest in 10 to 12 acres. That makes for smaller, harder-to-detect fields, though some discovered Tuesday had sophisticated irrigation systems with sprinklers, pumps and thousands of yards of tubing.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Time To Legalize Pot? It's America's Number One Crop!

Unlike Bill Clinton, this blogger did inhale, and has for years believed that pot should be legalized for personal use, with it's sale and distribution controlled by the government, much in the same fashion as alcohol is, though minus all the sin taxes associated with it. Perhaps the time has come for the government to realize their JUST SAY NO war on drugs is never going to work, just as Prohibition did not work so many decades ago. Despite the attempts to eradicate it's usage, Pot has become America's number one crop, beating out such favorites as Corn, Soy Beans and wheat, with estimated sales TOPPING $13.8 Billion.

Now, before a lot of you go jumping all over me for suggesting we LEGALIZE pot, and perhaps other drugs, consider this...the LARGEST CASH COW FOR TERRORISTS is the movement and sale of ILLEGAL DRUGS. You are not going to stop them from growing, harvesting and selling these illegal drugs, but if our drugs were HOME GROWN, we could CUT THEM OUT OF THE MARKET, wipe out their major source of funds...a few hundred serious fields of poppies and herb plants, and the Taliban is in deep shit as their sources for cash go dry. You cannot deny this reality, as it has been discussed on the news, commercials have been made suggesting we are supporting terrorists when we get high...well, people are going to get high even if the moral majority hates that reality. However, given a choice, they'd buy their bud locally.

Cash value of pot crops is highlighted in report
By Eric Bailey, Times Staff Writer
6:21 PM PST, December 17, 2006

SACRAMENTO -- For years, activists in the marijuana legalization movement have claimed that cannabis is America's biggest cash crop. Now they're citing government statistics to prove it.

A report to be released Monday by a marijuana public policy analyst contends that the market value of pot produced in the United States exceeds $35 billion -- far more than the crop value of such heartland staples as corn, soybeans and hay.

California is responsible for more than one-third of the cannabis harvest, with an estimated production of $13.8 billion that exceeds the value of the state's grapes, vegetables and hay combined -- and marijuana is the top cash crop in a dozen states, the report states.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Up Skirt Photographer BANNED from Camera Use For ONE YEAR

Singapore is a tough place to live for a young man using his cell phone camera to catch skirt shots on an esculator! Dubbed as the Upskirt Voyeur, the young man in question got off without prison, but lost all rights to cameras for one year, and has to do 40 hours of community service work...maybe he could do counseling work at Victoria's Secrets!

No cameras for peeping Tom

SINGAPORE: A man arrested for secretly filming under a teenage girl's skirt was barred from using cameras for a year by a Singapore court, a paper said on Thursday.

The 20-year-old Singaporean was arrested in November last year after he was caught filming under the 17-year-old girl's skirt with a digital camera and his camera phone on an escalator, the Straits Times daily reported.

Dubbed "the upskirt voyeur" by the paper, the man escaped a jail term but was sentenced to 40 hours of community service and ordered by the court to stay away from all types of cameras, including camera phones for a year.

At least eight men in Singapore -- including teachers, an engineer, and a doctor -- have been jailed for similar offences in the last year, the report said.

Profits ZOAR at Almost The News

As regular readers here know, we have been experiencing UNPRECEDENTED PROFIT GROWTH, profit that makes Google seem like a light weight. I know we were only talking nickles and dimes, but the percentage jumps were HUGE! Our new goal was to see those nickles and dimes turned into QUARTERS! Such a feat would be continued profit growth equal to about 400 PERCENT! Think of it, if we could push our meager earnings up to just FIFTY CENTS since our last discussion on profits, we would have seen a 400 PERCENT jump in profits in the past two weeks! Donald Trump would be sending his limo up here to Peekskill New York to bring me into THE CITY for lunch...we are talking MONSTER GROWTH.

Well, Donald Trump had best be sending his JET, or at the very least inviting me to be on his hit TV Show, "The Apprentice". I mean just my mentioning him and his show here on this blog is and endorsement of MASSIVE PROPORTIONS...forget Tiger Woods, the Porgie has just given the Donald a plug! Anyway, back to profits discussions. Forget quarters here folks, and forget that 400 percent GROWTH...we are talking record shattering performance here, profit growth never before seen in the entire history of MANKIND! We here at Almost The News have just approved an Ad Sense campaign that gives us profit growth of over TEN THOUSAND PERCENT! We have jumped past quarters, no fifty cent pieces, but serious real DOLLAR BILLS, and not just singles either! We have fives, tens, even a TWENTY DOLLAR BILL! MY GAWD, we have enough to BUY BEER AND FREAKING PIZZA!

IF this keeps up, we may be able to attract the quality players to this blog...that's right, I AM TALKING PABST BLUE RIBBON BEER as an advertiser, or imagine, could it be that BUDWEISER (My home town brew) would put and ad on our site...imagine that, a Budweiser LINK! Their Banner right there for all the world to see! Godiva, I have got to have Godiva! Imagine CRAFTSMAN...I could get some free POWER TOOLS, be just like Tim The Toolman! I'd give a free BANNER FOR LIFE to Tesla Motors if they could toss me one of their Roadsters...convertible only though! Martha Stewart, she's doing houses NOW...I could move out of my refrigerator BOX into a real HOME! She gets a BANNER AD, I get one of those homes she has built by someone else with her name on them! I'd not keep it though, would sell the home, and fulfill my dream of owning a DOUBLE WIDE in a first rate trailer park!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Big Fat DUBBIES At London Olympics?

Seems the sports Minister has said Cannibis should NOT be on the banned substance list for the athletes in the London Olympics! Can see the torch now! Big old three foot fattie smoldering up to light the torch! Cheech and Chong could run it into the stadium.


December 13th, 2006

Athletes at the London Olympics should be not banned for taking recreational drugs, the Sports Minister said today.

Richard Caborn stunned MPs by suggesting cannabis should be removed from the list of banned substances for competitors.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Colbert SCORES BIG With Truthiness

Colbert's campaign to make Truthiness the WORD OF THE YEAR has paid some seriously big happened! Merriam Webster's has stated that truthiness, based on an online survey best sums up the year 2006. Yet another feather in the bonnet of Colbert who some are pushing as the next President of the United States of America...who knows, it could happen.

'Truthiness' is the word of the year
POSTED: 10:48 a.m. EST, December 9, 2006
SPRINGFIELD, Massachusetts (AP) -- After 12 months of naked partisanship on Capitol Hill, on cable TV and in the blogosphere, the word of the year for 2006 is ... "truthiness."

The word -- if one can call it that -- best summed up 2006, according to an online survey by dictionary publisher Merriam-Webster.

"Truthiness" was credited to Comedy Central satirist Stephen Colbert, who defined it as "truth that comes from the gut, not books."

Other Top 10 finishers included "war," "insurgent," "sectarian" and "corruption." But "truthiness" won 5-to-1, Morse said.

Colbert -- who once derided the folks at Springfield-based Merriam-Webster as the "word police" and a bunch of "wordinistas" -- was pleased.

"Though I'm no fan of reference books and their fact-based agendas, I am a fan of anyone who chooses to honor me," he said in an e-mail to The Associated Press.

Saturday, December 9, 2006

New Blog Launched-The Washington Clitorial

This one is GREAT folks...The Washington Clitorial is all about being in the pink in Washington, DC.

Ann Coulter Move Over, The Washington Clitorial Is Here

As we prepare for the 110th Congress, and the coronation of Nancy (my husband shops for me) Pelosi, as Speakeress of The House it seems appropriate to create a tongue in cheek blog about and for women in Washington politics and the title Washington Rag sheet just seemed to much of a red state title, and we all know, Bush is out (or is that Cheney?) and Hilliary is in, so welcome to, "The Washington Clitorial" where the news and views are hopefully all in the pink.

Friday, December 8, 2006

Links For Hard to Find Christmas Gifts

Looking for that hard to find Christmas Gift, can't find the link to your favorite MUST HAVE gifts? Have no fear, Almost the News has the LINKS FOR YOU!

Fire Up Your Car With BLUBBER DIESEL

If you thought you'd heard it all, THINK about body fat being converted to bio-diesel? That's RIGHT, your body fat converted into petrol as fat from liposuction is converted into fuel...this gives a whole new meaning to the term, "I've GOT GAS!" Now all we need is someone out there building us a blubber mobile, and we can have Fatman and Robin.

Fortune in fat
A Norwegian businessman is looking to earn money on the fat of the land, and create fuel in the USA

Lauri Venøy wants to use the product created from liposuction to develop bio-diesel.

Bio-diesel can be produced from plant oils and/or animal fat, and the Norwegian sees the scheme as a renewable energy source, newspaper Dagens Nærinsgliv reports.

More than sixty percent of Americans are overweight and the Norwegian's firm in Miami, Florida is in the process of signing an agreement with US hospital giant Jackson Memorial. This deal would give Venøy & Co. around 11,500 liters of human fat a week from liposuction operations, which is enough to produce about 10,000 liters of bio-diesel.

"Maybe we should urge people to eat more so we can create more raw material for fuel," Venøy said.

In Norway bio-diesel is primarily produced from fish oils and used fryer fat.

Some Folks Have No Sense of Humor...Pornaments Gone From Spencer Gifts

If Spencer's Gifts reads this blog entry, I would LOVE TO HAVE A SET OF THE ORNAMENTS in this article. Seems some holier than thou crusader for all things pure and right has succeeded in intimidating Spencer's Gifts into removing "Clinton White House" like pornographic ornaments from their stores and their website. It's simple...if you do not like the ornaments, do not buy them! In the mean time, for those of us who have a sense of humor, who enjoy a bit of sexual frivolity, leaves us to our own devices, let us buy humping Santa's, or sexy Snow Women!

Maybe it is time for some of these DAMN CHRISTIANS to take responsibility for their own lives, and their own children, rather than trying to stop the rest of us from living and enjoying our lives. If you don't want your children seeing NAKED SNOW MEN, keep them the hell out of Spencer's Gifts! If you don't want your children seeing Penthouse, then keep it in a better hiding place than under your bed. We were born naked, and there is nothing wrong with adults buying the gag gift of naked Christmas ornaments. Wondering here if the moron Thompson will now try to close down my blog?

Spencer Gifts blinks in battle over 'pornaments'
Products disappear from website when criminal complaint sought

Posted: December 8, 2006
5:00 p.m. Eastern

© 2006

A photograph of a "pornament" that fogged in order to be able to show it on television

Pornographic ornaments, apparently similar to those used in the Clinton White House, have disappeared from a novelty company's website, and are being pulled from its stores, after a Miami, Fla., lawyer warned the company that displaying those items where children can see them is illegal in many states.

The "pornaments," featuring various snowman, elf and Santa characters in sexually explicit poses, no longer are available on the website of Spencer Gifts, and Florida lawyer Jack Thompson told WND that he's working to make sure the company faces criminal charges in any state where they continue to appear in stores and where state laws are similar to Florida's.

The "pornaments" graphically depict anal intercourse between a snowman and a bare-breasted "snowwoman," sexual intercourse between reindeer, a naked elf with a gigantic, erect penis, a bare-breasted female elf, and so on, Thompson reported in a letter to authorities.

Those are similar, he said, to the ones former FBI Agent Gary Aldrich described in his book, "Unlimited Access," about security lapses during the Clinton tenure in the White House. That book recounts the placement of pornographic tree ornaments on the official Clinton White House tree, Thompson said.

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Prime Time Highway Robbery....Reality Commercials

Reality TV has become and America staple...especially since it is a CHEAP WAY for producers to put a show before the viewing we have ad agencies and companies wanting to get in on the deal, by offering view produced commercials...they get hundreds if not thousands of view submitted videos, advertise their product under the guise of VOTING (FREE ADVERTISING), then chose one lucky entrant as the WINNER. Winner gets a prise, advertisers have saved a fortune! As hard as it may be, home video makers have got to stop giving their work away, and the viewers of these video have to stop letting advertisers get something for nothing.

Testing Yourself Online and, Maybe, on the Set

This blogger has STRIPPED out the avertisers links in this article from the NY Times.

THE promotional contest, a Madison Avenue mainstay, is being freshened for a new generation through an increasingly popular marketing tactic known as user-generated content.

Advertisers like Chipotle, Converse, General Motors and MasterCard have been gaining attention by inviting consumers to use the new video technologies to create commercials.

For instance, more than 1,000 entries have been submitted to the Frito-Lay division of PepsiCo in a “Crash the Super Bowl” contest to create a commercial for Doritos snack chips. The winning spot is scheduled to appear during Super Bowl XLI on Feb. 4.

Not only are advertisers wooing consumers into creating commercials, so too are the television networks that run them. The CW network is teaming with one advertiser, the Sunkist line of sodas sold by Cadbury Schweppes, to ask viewers of the series “One Tree Hill” to create video entries in a contest with an unusual grand prize: a role in an episode for the creator of the winning spot, filmed on location in the winner’s hometown.

The entrants are being asked to upload their video clips to a special Web site ( In a wrinkle that is typical of promotions involving user-generated content, consumers, whether or not they enter the contest, will be able to vote online for their favorite submissions.

“This is 360-degree marketing,” said Bill Morningstar, executive vice president for national sales at CW, owned by CBS and Time Warner. “It starts on air, extends online and has the ultimate grass-roots layer, the show coming to the hometown.”

FARTS CREATE Homeland Security Scare, GROUND PLANE...

You CANNOT MAKE NEWS LIKE THIS UP...seems that high flying farts caused a security scare, forcing a plane to make an EMERGENCY landing in Nashville. Seems a woman wanted to hide the odor of her melodious sounds and lit up a match to cover the did not work, and when passengers complained about the sulfur smell an emergency landing was ordered...the GUILTY FARTER was not charged, but could not return to the plane which continued on to Dallas.

Flatulence Forces Plane to Land
By Associated Press

December 5, 2006, 9:12 PM EST

NASHVILLE, Tenn. -- It is considered polite to light a match after passing gas. Not while on a plane.

An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said.

The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off and screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an unspecified medical condition, authorities said.

"It's humorous in a way but you feel sorry for the individual, as well," she said. "It's unusual that someone would go to those measures to cover it up."

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane. The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in the incident.

Monday, December 4, 2006

Reuter's, Yahoo, Google, CNN and Others Want Your News Photos could be a REPORTER! You've seen the adds on CNN encouraging you to become a citizen REPORTER! Others are quickly joining suit, encouraging you to send them what you have, offering you the chance to be a CITIZEN REPORTER, see your proverbial name in lights as it were. Tomorrow, both Yahoo and Reuters are going to begin featuring lots of these citizen pictures, making us members of the general public their stringers...JUST ONE PROBLEM, and you folks are falling right into their trap....THEY ARE NOT PAYING YOU FOR YOUR PHOTO! WAKE UP FOLKS...newspapers, news channels and other sources WILL PAY FOR THESE PICS, but would prefer to GET THEM FOR FREE. Sure, maybe it is cool to have your 30 seconds of fame, live the thrill of seeing your photograph on the evening news, but then WHAT?

Citizens need to tell these folks that our work has VALUE, and if they want it, they have to PAY FOR IT.

Have Camera Phone? Yahoo and Reuters Want You to Work for Their News Service

Published: December 4, 2006

Hoping to turn the millions of people with digital cameras and camera phones into photojournalists, Yahoo and Reuters are introducing a new effort to showcase photographs and video of news events submitted by the public.

Starting tomorrow, the photos and videos submitted will be placed throughout and Yahoo News, the most popular news Web site in the United States, according to comScore MediaMetrix. Reuters said that it would also start to distribute some of the submissions next year to the thousands of print, online and broadcast media outlets that subscribe to its news service. Reuters said it hoped to develop a service devoted entirely to user-submitted photographs and video.

“There is an ongoing demand for interesting and iconic images,” said Chris Ahearn, the president of the Reuters media group. He said the agency had always bought newsworthy pictures from individuals and part-time contributors known as stringers.

“This is looking out and saying, ‘What if everybody in the world were my stringers?’ ” Mr. Ahearn said. How about PAYING THOSE STRINGERS YOU CHEAP BASTARD.

The project is among the most ambitious efforts in what has become known as citizen journalism, attempts by bloggers, start-up local news sites and by global news organizations like CNN and the BBC to see if readers can also become reporters. Reporters WITHOUT PAY should be added here.

Sunday, December 3, 2006

How About A Cow For Christmas?

Christmas is the time for giving, a time to think about someone other than self, the one time of the year when people seem in the mood to be generous of spirit and heart. How many of us take a moment to toss our spare change into the Red Buckets of the Salvation Army on our way into our out of the Mall? If you are not, then SHAME ON YOU.

This year, how about giving someone on your gift list a gift that keeps on giving to someone they do not even know? I'd like to introduct you to OXFAM's where you can shop for numerous charitable gifts to help those in need. A big fan favorite is a cow for only $75, or how about helping to start a villiage savings account? These are but two of the wonderful Humanity Gifts you can find on this wonderful site, and it's my hope that a few of you will click over to give them a hello, and hopefully be moved to make a purchase or two.

Paris Hilton Quits Billboard Awards...uhhh...Who Cares?

If I were to create a list of the top ten women with whom I'd love to share dinner with, a list of fantasy dates, Paris Hilton would not make the fact, if I were to make the list larger, say 1,000 women, she would still fall short of making the cut. She's brash, she's trash, and her antics are...well, distasteful and rude. Here is a young woman that has been given anything and everything a person could hope for in life...fame, fortune, a modicum of good looks, and from this writer's perspective she is doing NOTHING remarkable with these gifts she has received.

So, it it with some humor I read today that she's BACKING out of her appearance at the Billboard Awards because she finds some of the jokes portray some of her friends in a BAD LIGHT...WELL EXCUSE ME, maybe then Paris needs to GET A CLUE. I do not keep tabs on her, but I could recount one sad news story after another about her and her friends. Seem to recall the story about her STUFF found in an abandoned storage facility and her suing to get it back, there was the story about her and her friends hitting a car and driving off after a night of party at some club, or her latest antics with Brittany, the two of them showing up at clubs without their panties on. With these kinds of news stories, how can Paris be upset at a few jokes that might portray her friends in a negative light...does the truth hurt? I only hope that one day she wakes up, realizes what she's been gifted with, starts doing some good in this world, instead of thinking everything in the world revolves around her.

Hilton Quits Billboard Awards Over Jokes
( Does Truth Hurt Paris? )

By The Associated Press
The Associated Press
Sunday, December 3, 2006; 2:12 AM

LOS ANGELES -- Paris Hilton won't joke about her peeps. The hotel heiress canceled an appearance at next week's Billboard Music Awards because she didn't like the jokes written for her, according to a spokesman.

"It is my understanding that some satirical references ridiculed some of her peers," her spokesman, Elliot Mintz, said in a statement. "Paris did not want to say anything that could appear hurtful or embarrassing about people she knows."

Saturday, December 2, 2006

No Tongue in Cheek...We miss you Dinero Boo


It is with a heavy heart that I interupt our fun on this jokes today, no fun, no product previews. Instead, today I honor my/our beloved Dinero Boo, the best cat, the best feline friend a family could ever have.

Dinero Boo October 11th, 1995-December 2nd, 2006

Friday, December 1, 2006

NEWS FLASH...Calling ALL BLOGGERS To Help a Soldier's Mom

I know this is usually a silly, funny blog, but I interupt here with and important call for all bloggers to reach out to an American Soldier's Mom who has just found out he has been hit by and IED in Iraq...

Friday, December 1, 2006

Reach Out NOW To an Iraq Soldier Mom! Her SON Has BEEN HIT With and IED

NEWS FLASH...Just in from Gather.

I am a member on a site for people to meet and share their thoughts, argue politics, and make new friends. One of these new friends could USE SOME FRIENDLY WORDS and prayers. If you read this, pass the link along, and click on THIS LINK to read her post, which I am posting below, and to leave her words of strength. This post is being put up in all my blogs, hope you will include it in yours...the Mother of a soldier needs our strength.

Porgie Tirebiter

he was hit
by adele L.
December 01, 2006 12:07 AM EST
I got a phone call at midnight, from my daughter, telling me my son was hit and injured in Iraq. I was sound asleep. I heard ,Wayland had been hit by an IUD. ?????? What I don't understand, I said. She continued to try to explain it to me. I finally woke up enough to understand what she was saying ..... my son was hurt.
He was hit by an IED.

He is in Germany now in a hospital.

He was in a vehicle and was tossled around.

more to come.............

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Amish Airlines...No Words Necessary

Hot, Sexy, Sizzling and GREEN

Here at Almost the News, we like GREEN COMPANIES, and on occasion try to give a green group or green product a plug, such as our piece on the Ecobabes efforts to raise funds to fight Global Warming by selling calendars. Which by the way, for those of you looking for a great Christmas gift, there are only 5000 of these rare treats. Another project that I've personally been following, and am very excited about is the Tesla Motor Company's entry into the environmentally friendly automobile category.

On an early blog I abandoned, this sexy car was featured a few times, and thought now was a good time to introduce my readers to it again. This is not your father's electric car, it's bold sleek styling flat out beautiful to behold, and the convertible is to die for. Earlier this year they offered up a limited edition of 100 cars that sold out so fast they had to offer up another 100 for those car aficionado's that can afford this luxury GREEN CAR...yes, sadly they are not cheap with a price tag right around $100,000. That being said, if Santa Claus is reading this article, I would not mind finding one under my Christmas Tree.

At the other end of the spectrum is one of the UGLIEST entries into the Green Car race I have ever seen, but then what can we expect, it's from HUMMER.

Need Christmas Shopping Time? PLAY HOOKIE

We all know the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season...cookies to be baked, dinners to be planned, decorating our homes inside and out, and of course SHOPPING...lots and lots of shopping and it all has to be done by Christmas Eve, squeezed in between Christmas Parties and drinking some serious Holiday Cheer. Looking at all these responsibilities and duties falling on the average American worker, what is and employee supposed to do?

PLAY HOOKIE...That's right, call in sick, fake a cough, whisper hoarsely into the phone that you ARE DYING! Not to worry, every one (almost) is doing it. What choice do we have? Let's be serious, our children, friends and family are counting on us to deliver the goods on Christmas, and sometimes getting those hard to find toys and gifts require some serious standing on line time. So, feeling pressured, need a few additional hours to take care of the real business of the season...TAKE THE DAY OFF, use up one of your sick days, tell them one of your children is vomiting all over the living room rug.

Holiday season rings in the phony absences
POSTED: 11:43 a.m. EST, November 29, 2006

NEW YORK (Reuters) -- One in three workers has called in sick when they're not in the past year, and the end-of-year holiday season brings a rash of phony absences, experts and studies say.

Harried workers are juggling shopping, holiday preparations and family obligations this time of year, on top of perhaps having run out of the year's legitimate vacation days, they say. And the mornings after holiday parties don't help.

"We do know just anecdotally in dealing with employers that there certainly is a higher rate ... associated with holidays, catching up on shopping, or spending time with family and friends," said Jennifer Sullivan, spokeswoman for, which conducts an annual survey of employee absenteeism. "You do see a higher incidence."

The firm's survey, released this week, showed that 32 percent of workers said they called in sick when they felt fine at least once in the last year, and one in 10 said they did so three times or more.

Women were more likely to take a sick day when they are not sick than men, by 37 to 26 percent, the survey said.

Bush Maliki Press Conference

OK, for all you LAZY folks that did not STAY UP for this exciting event, going to give you the low down on the Bush/Maliki Press Conference held in the middle of the night...PAY ATTENTION DAMMIT.

BLah, blah, blah, blah, Killing Innocent People, blah, blah

Accelerate, accelerate, yeah, accelerate, Right man for the job, accelerate.

Freedom Building, Democracy,,,,,,, accelerate, unify.

No graceful withdraw. (verse Cut and this bipartisanship in action?)

Blah, blah, unify, killing innocent people, terrorist

Iran, isolation

Respect our borders, stay out of our internal affairs

accelerate, accelerate, unify, accelerate

no trilateral talk was planned...denial

duck, duck, duck....accelerate, accelerate, unify, Sadr, Sadr, duck, duck, duck

accelerate, accelerate, right man for job

Give the President Of Iran A Piece Of Your Mind!

Hey FOLKS, are you tired of Iran's rhetoric? Think Iran should stop supporting terrorists, stop providing arms to Hezbollah? Want to unload and tell Iran's President just what you think of him? Well here is your on this link, and it'll take you to the President of Iran's Email the President Page! I bet if we all worked really hard on this, we could generate several thousand letters by tomorrow evening! Mahmoud Ahmadinejad wrote to us the American People, let's write him back and tell him WHERE TO GO. Want to read his tripe and political propaganda?

Write Iranian President, Mr. NUKE HEAD

Bush GETS TOUGH On North Korea...Takes Away IPod!

Bush to Kim of North Korea...give up your NUKES or WE GET TOUGH ON YOU! I'm not kidding here, it's time for you to give up your entire Nuclear Program, or I'm going to hit you where it REALLY HURTS! That's right, either give up your nukes, or I am taking away your IPod! OMG, talk about getting tough! You go George, smack that little Mini Me down, show him you are ALL BUSINESS this time around.

If this were not so funny, I'd cry. It is pretty pathetic when American Diplomacy has been reduced to threatening a leader of a foreign country with the loss of his IPod and upper shelf alcohol! What's next, cutting off M TV? Maybe take away his Game Boy? It's time to fire Condi Rice, and bring back Colin Powell, except he would not even consider returning to work for this administration short of the impeachment of both Bush and Cheney.

U.S. Aims to Ban iPod Sales to North Korea

WASHINGTON (Nov. 29) - The Bush administration wants North Korea's attention, so like a scolding parent it's trying to make it tougher for that country's eccentric leader to buy iPods, plasma televisions and Segway electric scooters.

The U.S. government's first-ever effort to use trade sanctions to personally aggravate a foreign president expressly targets items believed to be favored by Kim Jong Il or presented by him as gifts to the roughly 600 loyalist families who run the communist government.

Kim, who engineered a secret nuclear weapons program, has other options for obtaining the high-end consumer electronics and other items he wants.

But the list of proposed luxury sanctions, obtained by The Associated Press, aims to make Kim's swanky life harder: No more cognac, Rolex watches, cigarettes, artwork, expensive cars, Harley Davidson motorcycles or even personal watercraft, such as Jet Skis.

The new ban would extend even to music and sports equipment. The 5-foot-3 Kim is an enthusiastic basketball fan; then-Secretary of State Madeleine Albright presented him with a ball signed by Michael Jordan during a rare diplomatic trip in 2000.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006


OMFG! (Can I say that on here?)

Anyway, lets get to this NEWS FLASH!

For the regular followers of "Almost The News"...I think we have two...monumental news was reported last week when our blog went into the BLACK profit wise. Now, I know some of you were skeptics, not overly impressed with our bottom line profits from our Ad Sense program. You missed the point of the post, the fact of the matter was, we were/are in the BLACK. OK, I admit it was not that big of a feat, but you take your wins where you can get them.

Well NAYSAYERS, put on your dancing shoes, someone call the Wall Street Journal, as this time around, BIG NEWS. In one week, "Almost The News" has seen a unprecedented 1900 percent JUMP IN PROFITS! We are no longer talking pennies here, or in the case of last week, ONE PENNY. NO WAY, we are talking BIG TIME here, the real McCoy...we are up to nickles and dimes folks! That's right, our total profits are up to TWENTY CENTS! This doesn't seem like much UNLESS you look at it in percentages, but as a percentage, this is larger than the new James Bond Movie, bigger than the TomKat wedding, even bigger than that time I thought I had got my finger slammed in the car door, but found out I was wrong....BOY, that was a big relief that day.

So, don't focus in on the 20 cents, that's not news worthy...instead, I want press releases all over the world announcing our blog's 1900 percent jump in PROFITS! Get out the wine, it's time to PARTY. By the way READERS...yes, talking to the two of you....start clicking on our advertisers, say hello to them....better YET, buy something. Today it's nickles and dimes, but tomorrow it's QUARTERS BABY.

Advertisers and investors, where are you? The lines are open. Tiffany, call me, and Godiva you know I love you babes, so send me some chocolates. Tesla Motors, that is a great electric car you have, lets talk! Bergdorf's!... got to have BERGIE on my blog.

Monday, November 27, 2006

The Loss Of A Dear Friend...Our Cat Boo...

Usually not one to be blue, in less of one to share bad news, but going to make and exception, and share here the beginnings of a tribute to Deniro Boo, a grand old cat. If you would like to read his Goodbye note to his Mom (my wife), the link has been provided below the brief intro here on this'll be missed BIG GUY.

This is a picture of Boo (Deniro) with two of his pals. He's in the foreground and beside him with the gold eyes is Shadow Dancer. Directly behind him guarding the vacuum sweeper is Snowball (Shadow's Mom). They both are going to miss The Booster, and so shall we.

This post will always be open to those wishing to leave a greeting to Boo, as he was always a friendly type, and will love knowing folks are stopping by to occasionally say hello. All cats are special, it's just that some are more special than we really ever knew. Our Boo was one of those cats that was special, and his absence is one that will take awhile to get over. We loved you BOO! Good bye dear son.

The Grinch That STOLE Christmas-Loma Linda Homeowners Association

Imagine putting a wreath shaped like a peace sign outside, perhaps hanging off the front door, or hanging on the side of the house, a part of the assorted Christmas decorations placed around for the seaon, only to have a few SNOOTY folks, and a WAY OFF BASE Home Owners Association order you to take it down, or face a daily fine of $25. Worse, when the board refused to support the action, they were FIRED! Well, "Almost The News" give you your chance to call this Home Owners Association, and give them a serious piece of your mind.
Loma Linda Homeowners Association
2493 Loma Linda Dr.
P.O. box 1139
Pagosa Springs, CO 81147
Phone: 970-264-6966

Updated: 10:59 PM EST

Subdivision Bans Wreath With Peace Sign
Homeowner Defies Board, Faces About $1000 in Fines


DENVER (Nov. 26) - A homeowners association in southwestern Colorado has threatened to fine a resident $25 a day until she removes a Christmas wreath with a peace sign that some say is an anti-Iraq war protest or a symbol of Satan.

Some residents who have complained have children serving in Iraq, said Bob Kearns, president of the Loma Linda Homeowners Association in Pagosa Springs. He said some residents have also believed it was a symbol of Satan. Three or four residents complained, he said.

"Somebody could put up signs that say drop bombs on Iraq. If you let one go up you have to let them all go up," he said in a telephone interview Sunday.

Lisa Jensen said she wasn't thinking of the war when she hung the wreath. She said, "Peace is way bigger than not being at war. This is a spiritual thing."

Jensen, a past association president, calculates the fines will cost her about $1,000, and doubts they will be able to make her pay. But she said she's not going to take it down until after Christmas.

"Now that it has come to this I feel I can't get bullied," she said. "What if they don't like my Santa Claus."

The association in this 200-home subdivision 270 miles southwest of Denver has sent a letter to her saying that residents were offended by the sign and the board "will not allow signs, flags etc. that can be considered divisive."

The subdivision's rules say no signs, billboards or advertising are permitted without the consent of the architectural control committee.

Kearns ordered the committee to require Jensen to remove the wreath, but members refused after concluding that it was merely a seasonal symbol that didn't say anything. Kearns fired all five committee members.

11/26/06 20:50 EST

Ticky Tacky Award GOES TO...Talking Points Blog

Cruising through my links looking for Ticky Tacky, came across a whole new low in blogging, compliments of Joshua Micah Marshall over at the Talking Points Memo. Granted, we all hope to earn a living blogging, hope advertisers will beat a path to our blogs with FISTS full of dollars. We have our side bars set up, looking attractive, and we hope...that's fine, but Joshua Micah Marshall has taken advertising and the hunt for DOLLARS to a new low by forcing us to put up with advertising placed right into the blog area short, you cannot scroll through his musings and overly self important posturing without having to look at ads for ridiculous products...serious, these are ads for low end TICKY TACKY, which is why I am awarding Joshua Micah Marshall our "Almost The News" Ticky Tacky Award.
Sorry Joshua, no trophy, but maybe you can use the link back in this article as a means to generate a few more ad sense points for yourself.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Christmas Shopping Green Style...ECOBABES Calendar

Being and Eco-Friendly kind of a guy here, decided when I read the article below that I had to give the ecobabes a plug. You can help the efforts of green people everywhere...well, not every where, but out in Sonoma County in their efforts to reduce greenhouse emissions. This Green Friendly Bootylicious offering can be found at

Environmental climate heats up over pinups Raising funds and blood pressure with 'Ecobabes' calendar
Peter Fimrite, Chronicle Staff Writer
Sunday, November 26, 2006

Greenhouse gas may not be very sexy, but a group of self-proclaimed "ecobabes" in Sonoma County found a unique way to bring out global warming's naughty side -- posing for a pinup calendar.

The 12 female environmentalists were photographed -- fully clothed, for the most part -- in an effort to raise money for the Climate Protection Campaign of Sonoma County and seduce the public into reducing greenhouse gas emissions.

Friday, November 24, 2006

The Million Clicks Cannondale Boycott

Yes, time for another You Tube Video presentation...

Seems that Cannondale has presented George Bush with a very pricey (over $5000) custom built 2007 Cannondale Moutain Bike before they were even released into the stores....HOW CONVENIENT. If you are against the Bush Administration policies in Iraq, join the Million Clicks (or links) Boycott of Cannondale, demand that they take their bike back!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Monks Gone Wild...SERIOUS OUCH

If you thought you'd heard it all with Lorain Bobbitt, think again...seems a Monk, disturbed at getting an erection during his meditation WHACKED THAT SUCKER OFF, and with a machete no less. It's a GUY THING, but I winced when I read the story. Any thoughts I EVER HAD of joining a monastery, running around in a brown robe and drinking really great ale ARE GONE, out the window with this story. Gives a whole new meaning to taking a vow of Celibacy! Even funnier...this penis whacking occured in Bangkok! You have to love it, could not make up news any more off beat.

Buddhist monk cuts off penis and renounces refix
Wed Nov 22, 6:23 AM ET

BANGKOK (Reuters) - A Thai Buddhist monk cut off his penis with a machete because he had an erection during meditation and declined to have it reattached, saying he had renounced all earthly cares, a doctor and a newspaper said on Wednesday.

The 35-year-old monk, whose name was withheld for privacy reasons, allowed medical staff at Maharaj hospital, 780 km (480 miles) south of Bangkok to dress his wound, but refused reattachment, hospital chief Prawing Euanontouch said.

"We cleaned up the wound, gave him some stitches, but he declined to have it reattached because he said he had abandoned everything," Prawing told Reuters by telephone.

Prawing declined to comment on the monk's erection, which Bangkok-based Kom Chad Luk tabloid reported on its Web site.


Why is it that a little thing like THE LAW has to get in the way of a fun idea? Seems plans to break the World Record for smoking the largest dubbie have been canceled after the organizers read the FINE PRINT...DANG, I hate it when that happens! The SUPER JOINT planned for this occasion would have been five foot of KILLER GANJA, 100 percent super fine bud top, a full pound of mind altering bounty from Mother Nature's holistic case some of you are wondering, YES, I support the legalization of pot. Think about it...pot, a serious case of the MUNCHIES and Thanksgiving just go together like love and marriage, peanut butter and jelly, Mutt and Jeff, email and spam.

Speaking of Spam, what is it that people have against this meat delicacy of unknown origins? You've not lived until you've had a fried Spam sandwich on homemade seven grain bread with sliced Roma Tomatoes, fresh Boston Lettuce, and topped off with a generous dollop of spiced up Dill Mayo. A must have menu treat for any camping trip, and really easy to prepare.

Group scraps attempt to smoke biggest joint

Wed Nov 22, 9:29 AM ET

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - A plan to roll and smoke the world's largest joint was cancelled at short notice in Amsterdam when the organizers realized they could be breaking the law.

"We have now read the small print and realize there could be problems," Thijs Verheij, one of the organizers, was quoted as saying by ANP news agency after consulting Dutch drugs laws.

The group had wanted to roll a five-foot-long pure-weed joint, stuffed with more than a pound of marijuana and containing no tobacco, and smoke it in a bar.

It had initially thought the attempt would be legal if 100 people each brought along the five grams of the drug tolerated by Dutch authorities for personal use.

"Unfortunately it looks like this will not be possible," Verheij said. The attempt had been planned for Wednesday.

A police spokesman said: "We would definitely have investigated this. If you make a single joint with half a kilo of cannabis in it, it would cross the line."

Verheij said the group had hoped to beat a record set with a joint containing 100 grams of marijuana.

Just In Time For Christmas

Just in time for Christmas, I happened to click on one of our "Almost The News" Ad Sense links, and what before my eyes should appear? Why a little Green Devil with a recipe for good cheer. OK, at 50, soon to be 51 I have not actually tried Absinthe, but have been wanting too, even went so far as to check out a few sites that ship it...however, nothing quite captured my attention until I found this site! Imagine making your own, and if you hurry, it can be done just in time for a Christmas Eve Night taste from the past. Green Devil is not one of our patrons, but their web site is so tastefully done that I had to give them a plug, and a link on our side bar...give them a click, and if you do, make sure to tell them that "Almost The News" says hello. Also, for certain readers here in my CLOSE circle of friends, even family, you are ALWAYS saying I am so hard to shop for...can we say CLUE?

Only In New York-Modern Day Robin hood

This is a must share video for a couple reasons.

First, in real life, versus my cyberspace reality here on Blogger, I am named after the forest of Robin hood fame. Seriously, even as an old stoner I can't make this stuff up...OK, unlike Bill Clinton, I did inhale. Secondly, my better half, the Goddess of Letters is actually a NATIVE New Yorker, raised on the Upper West Side. So, when I stumbled across this video on of a guy from England running around New York dressed up like Robin hood, and giving away FREE MONEY, just had to share it.

It's one of those things that could only be done in New York...well, unless it was filmed in Los Angeles, or San Francisco, even Chicago, maybe Kansas City, perhaps Louisville, and having been born in St. Louis, have to give them a nod as well. OK, it could have been a stunt in any of those cities, but it wasn't! It happened here, almost in my own backyard...OK, not my backyard, but about 40 miles from my back yard, but that's close compared to say Festering Wound, Arkansas or Aching Corn, Iowa. You can find out more about this merry band of folks at

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Our First Featured You Tube Selection

Who hasn't known the dark sorrowful abyss of rejection?

From childhood when we are denied that candy bar while grocery shopping, to being turned down the first time we asked someone out on a date, we have experienced, lived through it, and grown used to it. Rejection makes success all that more rewarding, provides us a backdrop for life's successes as we move into adulthood. How many fledgling writers, comedians, artists, and YES, even bloggers have known the bitter yet sweet despair of rejection? How many of us have reveled in that momentary desire to seek out revenge on the freaking numb nut, under educated, buffoon who has dared voice a negative thought about our body of creative works, how many of us have mumbled those famous words, "What do they know any way?"

For all of us who have been told no, for all of us who have excitedly opened up a letter only to find a politely worded thanks, but no thanks, we offer you this video in the hopes it will make you laugh at yourself, and the world. I leave you with these words of wisdom that were shared early on in my own artistic career...Don't take rejection so seriously, it's only one person's opinion of your work."

Internet Revenues POURING In

This just in from our Chief Accounting Officer...up for less than 12 hours, "Almost The News" is already IN THE BLACK! This astonishing reality, this leap into profitability should have people thinking GOOGLE, or at the very least You Tube on steroids. So, how did we do it, what was our magic formula? In a word...OK, in two words, Ad Sense! Their advertisers LOVE THIS SITE, the whole premise of it is REVOLUTIONARY in both vision and scope.

Let's look at the numbers. Cost of putting the blog on ? Nothing, zip, nada, or as we say in the industry, a FREEBIE. Laptop...borrowed. Office Space...who are we kidding here, I'm working at the coffee table in my living room while watching CNN...shhh, don't let that get around. Salaries and other compensations...none, we all work for nothing because we love what we do. So, start up costs for this blogging dynamo...NOTHING! Are you beginning to see it would NOT TAKE MUCH for us to move into the black? So, how much have we made so far in this venture?

Total earnings $0.01

With this incredible, even meteoric rise into profitability, thinking we should open up another bottle of wine while we wait for the investors to beat a path to our door. Today, a penny, tomorrow two, and then three...the world is our oyster, the universe waiting for our rising star.

A Worthy Charity Event for Thanksgiving

Tomorrow, we give thanks, then we FEAST, gorging ourselves on treats, meats and deserts fit for kings...some are not so fortunate, some here in the land of plenty will go hungry. There are a lot of charities that work to feed and shelter our nation's homeless. The "Almost The News" blog hopes you will support one of these, give up a part of your day to lend them a helping hand in helping the less fortunate. In this spirit of giving and thanks, we share with you a brief story from "The Washington Scandal Blog" on one such charity, and one event in Washington, DC.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Live in Washington, DC? Get Out Tomorrow and HELP THE HOMELESS

I'll be up early tomorrow baking our Thanksgiving pumpkin and pecan pies, preparing fresh cranberries, and doing up my own world famous deviled eggs. This early morning descent to the kitchen is a part of my family tradition, a part of the greater traditions that are Thanksgiving in the United States of America. Tomorrow is a time to give thanks, and also a time to share the bounty each of us has been blessed with. In Washington, there is just such an opportunity with the 5th Annual Thanksgiving Day Trot for Hunger in Washington, D.C.

If you live in Washington, it is not to late to be a part of this GREAT EVENT, and I would encourage you to show up and walk, run or crawl the 5K which supports SOME (So Others Might Eat), and interfaith group started in 1970 soup kitchen dedicated to the most basic needs of the homeless. Can't make it? Then how about sending them a small donation, or getting involved in their efforts by visiting their website? Some things in life should ALWAYS be bipartisan, and feeding the hungry, compassion for those less fortunate is one of them.

A MotherLoad of a Story

Almost The News is proud to bring you a story that is almost, not really, but sort of kind of in a round about way EXCLUSIVE. Actually, we stole this story, but it was SO BIG, we just had to share it here.

Comedy Central has heard the voices (we hear them all the time), listening to the huddled masses sitting in front of their silver screens...give us our video's, let us put "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" on our blogs! Unlike in Washington, the people have spoken, and Comedy Central has listened, and DELIVERED. There is a GOD, and can I have a praise Jesus from the congregation?

Comedy Central to Syndicate 'MotherLoad'

By Ed Oswald, BetaNews
November 16, 2006, 2:48 PM

Comedy Central plans to follow in the footsteps of YouTube by allowing its users to syndicate videos found in its "MotherLoad" video service. The changes, coming later this month, will be introduced along with a redesign of the company's Web site.

In many ways, this is also a victory for Adobe as yet another major content provider switches to the Flash video format. Once an also-ran in multimedia, the technology has quickly turned into the format of choice for its cross-compatibility with a variety of platforms.

Much of that success can be attributed to YouTube, which was one of the first sites to make heavy use of Flash as a format for streaming media.

Comedy Central executives told Reuters that those advantages were one of the reasons they selected the technology. Also, the syndication of videos was also a popular request. Grabbed videos will still contain advertising, although details are not yet finalized.

Watch This Space for New Launch

Coming soon, a new concept, a fresh idea, a conglomeration of visions brought to life over some Merlot of questionable vintage. The "Almost The News" blog is part of a joint effort to high light new comedic talent, and present news stories Ala "The Daily Show" with Jon Stewart, our inspiration, our primary news source, our choice for President in 2008. Think BIG FOLKS!

On You Tube, we are launching our personal channel, Comedy Decentralized...the link to follow. We also are forming a group on You Tube called, "The Daily Show Annex" where any one who has created an audition tape for the "Daily Show is welcome to share it with the world. We'll be featuring the best submissions along with other humorous Video from You Tube on Comedy Decentralized.

WATCH THIS SPACE for fast breaking developments.