Chocolate, Health Gift From The God's

Godiva, THE GOLD STANDARD

With Christmas just TWO DAYS AWAY, the time for making those last minute gift selections is upon those of us who love waiting till the proverbial last minute. This could be a serious problem for some, but not if you have Chocolate Lovers like me on your list! Does not matter what shape, light, dark or white, if it is chocolate, count me in! However, it has to be not just good chocolate, but GREAT CHOCOLATE...my own favorites are See's, Ester Prices and of course Godiva...sure there are others, but those are my own current favorites.

Reports show that chocolate is good for...well, JUST ABOUT EVERY THING. Your heart, your mood, even your blood pressure...so LAST MINUTE SHOPPERS, not to worry. Go to your nearest mall, and find the Godiva Display and load up a box for every one on your list, and two for yourself. As they say, "Chocolate is to DIE FOR", so give the gift everyone loves to consume.

Profits ZOAR at Almost The News

As regular readers here know, we have been experiencing UNPRECEDENTED PROFIT GROWTH, profit that makes Google seem like a light weight. I know we were only talking nickles and dimes, but the percentage jumps were HUGE! Our new goal was to see those nickles and dimes turned into QUARTERS! Such a feat would be continued profit growth equal to about 400 PERCENT! Think of it, if we could push our meager earnings up to just FIFTY CENTS since our last discussion on profits, we would have seen a 400 PERCENT jump in profits in the past two weeks! Donald Trump would be sending his limo up here to Peekskill New York to bring me into THE CITY for lunch...we are talking MONSTER GROWTH.

Well, Donald Trump had best be sending his JET, or at the very least inviting me to be on his hit TV Show, "The Apprentice". I mean just my mentioning him and his show here on this blog is and endorsement of MASSIVE PROPORTIONS...forget Tiger Woods, the Porgie has just given the Donald a plug! Anyway, back to profits discussions. Forget quarters here folks, and forget that 400 percent GROWTH...we are talking record shattering performance here, profit growth never before seen in the entire history of MANKIND! We here at Almost The News have just approved an Ad Sense campaign that gives us profit growth of over TEN THOUSAND PERCENT! We have jumped past quarters, no fifty cent pieces, but serious real DOLLAR BILLS, and not just singles either! We have fives, tens, even a TWENTY DOLLAR BILL! MY GAWD, we have enough to BUY BEER AND FREAKING PIZZA!

IF this keeps up, we may be able to attract the quality players to this blog...that's right, I AM TALKING PABST BLUE RIBBON BEER as an advertiser, or imagine, could it be that BUDWEISER (My home town brew) would put and ad on our site...imagine that, a Budweiser LINK! Their Banner right there for all the world to see! Godiva, I have got to have Godiva! Imagine CRAFTSMAN...I could get some free POWER TOOLS, be just like Tim The Toolman! I'd give a free BANNER FOR LIFE to Tesla Motors if they could toss me one of their Roadsters...convertible only though! Martha Stewart, she's doing houses NOW...I could move out of my refrigerator BOX into a real HOME! She gets a BANNER AD, I get one of those homes she has built by someone else with her name on them! I'd not keep it though, would sell the home, and fulfill my dream of owning a DOUBLE WIDE in a first rate trailer park!

Need Christmas Shopping Time? PLAY HOOKIE

We all know the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season...cookies to be baked, dinners to be planned, decorating our homes inside and out, and of course SHOPPING...lots and lots of shopping and it all has to be done by Christmas Eve, squeezed in between Christmas Parties and drinking some serious Holiday Cheer. Looking at all these responsibilities and duties falling on the average American worker, what is and employee supposed to do?

PLAY HOOKIE...That's right, call in sick, fake a cough, whisper hoarsely into the phone that you ARE DYING! Not to worry, every one (almost) is doing it. What choice do we have? Let's be serious, our children, friends and family are counting on us to deliver the goods on Christmas, and sometimes getting those hard to find toys and gifts require some serious standing on line time. So, feeling pressured, need a few additional hours to take care of the real business of the season...TAKE THE DAY OFF, use up one of your sick days, tell them one of your children is vomiting all over the living room rug.

Holiday season rings in the phony absences
POSTED: 11:43 a.m. EST, November 29, 2006
http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/11/29/work.sick.reut/index.html

NEW YORK (Reuters) -- One in three workers has called in sick when they're not in the past year, and the end-of-year holiday season brings a rash of phony absences, experts and studies say.

Harried workers are juggling shopping, holiday preparations and family obligations this time of year, on top of perhaps having run out of the year's legitimate vacation days, they say. And the mornings after holiday parties don't help.

"We do know just anecdotally in dealing with employers that there certainly is a higher rate ... associated with holidays, catching up on shopping, or spending time with family and friends," said Jennifer Sullivan, spokeswoman for CareerBuilder.com, which conducts an annual survey of employee absenteeism. "You do see a higher incidence."

The firm's survey, released this week, showed that 32 percent of workers said they called in sick when they felt fine at least once in the last year, and one in 10 said they did so three times or more.

Women were more likely to take a sick day when they are not sick than men, by 37 to 26 percent, the survey said.